Cure for social ailments

Not dissimilar to finding an amazing medical cure in the middle of the Amazon, we had to go to West Africa to stumble across the solutions to four of life's trickiest situations.

These include: making a dignified departure from a social function; filling an uncomfortable silence during a conversation; running into someone you really should have contacted weeks or months earlier; and appropriate greetings (to kiss or not to kiss).

We've all struggled making a dignified exit from a function, often resorting to blaming a friend or partner for having to leave, because for some reason we feel the need to excuse ourselves.

"[Fill spouse name here] has to get up early tomorrow." Or, "I'm getting a lift with [name of friend] so unfortunately I have to go", are two common exit strategies.

The friend or partner (the blamee) just raises their eyebrows with a look of sorrow, then mouths the word 'sorry' ...pause...then 'thank you' to the host before heading for the door, which works well in a crowded event.

In Burkina Faso, the etiquette is to say, "Je demande la route", which literally translates to "I am asking the way/direction". The host ignores the statement two times, but after the third time the host says, "Je vous accord la route" ("I agree to give you the way")

The host then walks the guest to the door or gate. Everyone is aware of the etiquette, so there is no need to come up with a parting statement or excuse.

The Burkinabé have also come up with a way to make sure a potentially awkward silence is filled. "On est là, on est ensemble", translates, "We are here, we are together."

It is a statement used to reaffirm 'togetherness' and can be dropped into a conversation at any time, and several times if needs be.

Then there is that unplanned encounter with someone you feel guilty for not having contacted earlier.

In Burkina this is not a problem at all. You just say, "Ca fait deux jours". This translates, "It makes two days", meaning we haven't seen each other in two days. You can say this regardless of how long the absence has been...it may have been several years, but you still greet each other with "Ca fait deux jours".

Perfect.

Finally, the question of whether you greet with a kiss, a hug (half hug or full hug) or shake hands never raises its head here.

You shake hands with everyone. Be it your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, boss, shop assistant, mother or random guy down the street...you only shake hands.

Jon